Tuesday, May 31, 2016

From Binge to Balance

From Binge to Balance

Never compare your BEGINNING to someone else's MIDDLE. 

Sometimes we forget that we ALL start somewhere.

It's taken me 25 years to come to terms with my body type, gain some self-esteem, and give my body the respect it deserves.

You want to know the last time I've worn a bikini and felt confident? Never. But I did wear one on my recent cruise because the people I was around made me feel beautiful, no matter my shape, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable I felt. 

Bikinis/bathing suits, in general, have always been my nemesis. 

Swim party? Fuck that I'm not going. Beach? I'll be in a sundress.

But it was never about the bikini; it was about feeling COMFORTABLE in my skin. On the left here, I was wearing long jean shorts and my brother's motocross shirt. I also had a tank top on under it. 

I was SO uncomfortable in my skin, and it's visible on my face. I would pack on the layers, even in the crazy heat, wear black to avoid any attention, and stay in my "comfort zone" which was more like a body shaming prison. 

Face Your Fears

I remember when this picture on the left was taken. My family and I were about to climb Vernal Falls in Yosemite National Park (my happy place!). I couldn't make it even half way. That was not the first time--I've collapsed on the stairs to the mist trail before, wheezing, crying, so embarrassed.

Dudes, I'm still in my MIDDLE. Just because I felt light and happy and confident in a swimsuit at Target here does NOT mean I'm all about tight clothes and confidence all the time. Confidence can be LEARNED, and with working out, proper nutrition, and my vegan lifestyle, I'm still learning. 

Now, I can say that because of my commitment to my workouts, I've not only surpassed that damn bridge to Vernal, I've kept going, and hiked Half Dome TWICE, which rests at 8,839 elevations compared to 3,327 at Vernal.

Being Vegan

I'm prouder of that accomplishment than any other physical feat or weight loss. I defeated that damn waterfall number one on the way to a HUGE mountain where I climbed the back of it. 

Realize that we all have our mountains to climb. They might be literal; they might be wearing a bikini and rocking it, or they might be looking in the mirror in jeans and feeling DAMN PROUD of yourself.

Whatever it is, climb that damn mountain and DO NOT give up. You're worth it babe.

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